i am a transparent eyeball

my heart is getting bigger and fuller
not more generous
just learning how to move and respond to more
to you, you, you
to a hesitating hand, aching shoulder, a curving mouth
to hurt that i can’t fathom or empathize with
where i’m a stranger to
but i can try,
by beginning from the littles
that make up the large
and i can know that this expansion
is a way to know more of
Glory and of Grace
and most importantly,
of Love 

Sometimes I forget how much I need to write. How much I need pen to free my thoughts, and how much I need paper to catch them like a net. I forget that writing is the beginnings of a timid breath that gets stronger as the sentences increase. Where need becomes a more desperate and sharp ache, and where hope becomes sweeter and crystallized. My voice becomes defined, because there are ears and eyes to hear and read. The words more thirsty and unlimited, like suddenly realizing you were fishing in a pond, when you meant to fish in the ocean.

I have a lot of fear about writing. Writing badly, writing selfishly, writing uselessly. But I’ve decided to write anyway, maybe even in a pen with bold ink, to begin to go over the fear until it vanishes under words and words and words. Words that start as mine, but end as His. A glory that is stronger than my feeble hand with its feeble grip, a glory that sears truth from pen into thoughts and hearts. I need to write, to map out the ways that this bright Glory has crossed and zigzagged and led me out of fear and into perfect love. I need to see that I’ve come, again and again, into love and love and more love. And I need to keep writing to see that I can even write myself a telescope, through which I see only more Glory and fearlessness.

video: Youth Lagoon - July

disconaivete:

Tyler T. Williams - who is also responsible for the video for Montana - directed this cinematic video for Youth Lagoon’s July. Don’t you just love it when two very talented people make magic together? Youth Lagoon’s The Year of Hibernation is my favorite album of 2011, Tyler T. Williams’ video for Montana is one of my favorite videos of 2011. Needless to say this is another piece of art - it fits the atmosphere of the song perfectly. Do the video justice and watch it in HD.

The National & Bon Iver perform ‘Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks’ on Q

disconaivete:

The National are joined by Bon Iver for an acoustic version of Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks on Q. Needless to say this is amazing. The National brought two new songs to the Q-scene as well (Rylan and I Need My Girl), which you can stream here.

update You can now watch The National perform these two new songs on Q below.

i’m inspired to write, but just merely that. 
write, but not well, write, but not profoundly. just write.
why do i love to write?
i love to be heard. i love that words demand attention.i love when words shape speech and thought, the elegant script and haphazard scrawl that perfectly captures insufficient audible voice.
the voice is lovely because it is sad and truthful and carries across different spheres like a reverse echo. it gets stronger as it travels further away from its source. 
the beginning is shy, the end is brave. 
disappointments and furtive wishes start out foolish but become full, when actualized with double mirrors and difficult tailoring.
now i am just choosing which thoughts become words and which become dreams to be forgotten.
what do i have to say that is important?
the thoughts scream everything, everything is important because i am important.
the words delicately choose which flowers go in the vase, and which stay in the ground. 
i hope that all words read are important.
there is so much more that i have.
they will happen later, i hope.